You Don’t Hold the Market on Grief

Peggy Green - Thee Grief Specialist
Written by Peggy Green Thee Grief Specialist
I’ve been in a funk lately wanted to blame it on my grief and loss.
However, a dear friend challenged the way I was thinking. It has been two years since losing her husband, so she too travels the last journey. She simply stated, “You do not have the market on grief”. Wow, talk about an eye opener. This simple yet very truthful and insightful statement applied to where I was, what I was thinking and what I was feeling. While loss is devastating it is not the only cog in my wheel of emotions. There are other parts that contribute to whether my wheel is in balance or needs some work. I looked at my daily routine and realized that my positive habits had fallen to the wayside.
I am in a new chapter of life. My last and youngest daughter graduated college and moved out. I am now a single empty nester. My routine felt like there was no purpose why get groceries and plan meals when it was for myself? I was doing enough just to get by. I felt lost without her in the house. This was the same feeling I had when my son died. Lost without his presence.
I even found a few days that I forgot to drink water. Drinking water is the easiest self-care activity and I just forgot to do it. My thinking was foggy on those days, and I had headaches with decreased motivation.
My sleep is different too. I was used to hearing the garage door open as my daughter came home from work. The house is eerily quiet. It is me, the dog, and the cat. As soon as I go to bed, the cat is with me wanting attention. When I wake up in the morning, I still check that her bedroom door is closed, an indication she is safely tucked into bed.
I realize that my grief was not the only reason for my funk. My daughter moving out, lack of water and altered sleeping were contributing factors. I am now back on track and grateful for another life lesson.
In grief, loss, and sadness it is easy to blame how you feel on those factors alone. The truth is there are many, many cogs in the wheel of happiness peace and joy. If you want to move forward in your loss journey, look at these other parts of your life impacting your happiness. The answers just might be what you need to get started. Give yourself permission to heal. Is now the time to start?
If now now, when? Start your recovery with a complimentary coaching session. Find out what is hold you back and how to get through it. Schedule it here,
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