When I first started my yoga practice, I was encouraged to use blocks, straps, pillows, and bolsters. At first, I was dismayed and thought I would be pegged as a weakling and stand out as a beginner. My ego and pride got in the way. I refused to accept that any of these tools would make my practice better or any easier, let alone would I make improvements.
Sometimes it takes someone who is not close to the situation or circumstances to shed light on something you cannot see for yourself. Is grief stealing your life away?
The past 7 days have been full of change, some seemingly simple and others difficult and complex.
My youngest daughter is moving back home for five weeks. Having her come back home after being on her own is going to require an adjustment. She is used to doing things her way. I am set in my ways. My home, my house, my rules are not going to work though.
After Connor died in 2018, I knew I wanted to do something that matters. But how? How do I do that when I am still hurting and grieving? I see others who work in grief, and they seem like they have it all together. I watch those who are well known and world renowned yet don’t see their pain and suffering. It seems that they don’t have the same struggles that I do.
August 9 is my first child’s birthday. She would have been 31 years old this year. I took her picture off the top of my desk where it was so carefully placed years ago. The frame is oval with gold and silver trim. As I looked at it, so many memories came flooding in. Her fuzzy blonde hair stood on end and her deep blue eyes stared back at me. I found myself studying her just like when she was a new-born.
I sat across the table from a young man. He came to me for advice on finances ranging from paying his bills, gaining access to money in his trust account and how to build a savings.
Last weekend I attended a wedding for a young couple. The bride and groom were absolutely stunning. We sat through a light rain in a beautiful fall setting with aspen trees boasting gorgeous gold, yellow and orange leaves. The air was crisp and anticipation in the air. As the couple said their vows, it was well worth it to see them make it official. Because of Covid, their wedding plans were delayed, and the big day had finally arrived.
Physical health is often overlooked in the grief healing process. Due to the traumatic nature of a child’s death by suicide, it is even more important to address physical health. It is a barometer that indicates how things are going in all areas of your health.
Poor physical health symptoms caused by grief may include migraines, insomnia, extreme weight gain or weight loss, chronic pain and inflammation, diabetes, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, and broken heart syndrome. Grief will also weaken your immune system, making you prone to colds, flu, and an increased risk of autoimmune diseases. You may be experiencing one or many of these symptoms right now.
I’ve been in a funk lately wanted to blame it on my grief and loss.
However, a dear friend challenged the way I was thinking. It has been two years since losing her husband, so she too travels the last journey. She simply stated, “You do not have the market on grief”. Wow, talk about an eye opener. This simple yet very truthful and insightful statement applied to where I was, what I was thinking and what I was feeling. While loss is devastating it is not the only cog in my wheel of emotions. There are other parts that contribute to whether my wheel is in balance or needs some work. I looked at my daily routine and realized that my positive habits had fallen to the wayside.