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It is OK to BE OK

Written by The Grief Specialist Peggy Green

She also writes Saturday Meditations  in order to help others find hope, hope that
one day they will be able to lean into their new norm, live a happy and joyful
life and not feel guilty or shame for doing so. Additionally, she has
experienced significant life changes; moving from her home that she shared with
her son and getting divorced.

In her most recent blog, she shared that she was struggling.
Her struggles are not what you might think. This time, her struggle is about feeling
OK, doing OK, and enjoying life. The exact feelings she encourages others to
strive for. She has decided to put her Saturday Meditations on pause as she
reflects on her next steps.

December will be 4 years since Connor died. I too am feeling
that life is good and that I am OK. If  you
are asking, no, I am not putting Thursday Thoughts on hold. I am continuing to
share my journey. I have ‘arrived” at my new norm as close as possible.
However, life is ever-changing and the tools and resources that I have used to
survive my son’s death apply to other life circumstances.

I have participated in grief support groups. As I attended
meetings, others were in different parts of the grief journey. Some were brand
new, like me, fresh, raw, and deeply hurting. Others were doing well. They
dared to laugh and smile during the meeting. I questioned how dare they? I was
suffering and just experienced the loss of my son. I was at the point in my
grief that my world had stopped, and I expected other’s worlds to come to a
standstill as well. The meetings were all about the support I needed. I didn’t
understand why they kept coming to the meetings. They didn’t need them. They
were doing OK.

Now, nearly 4 years later, I understand why they kept
coming. In my darkest  hours, those
old-timers, experienced and doing OK people were the ones that I leaned into,
supported me, and made a difference. They weren’t attending for themselves, ok
maybe just a little bit. Their attendance and participation were acts of
selflessness. They knew what it was like to be in the throes of grief. They
knew what it was like to need support. They knew what it was like to feel lost
and lonely. They kept coming back to help others so that they can be OK.

And with that, as I am doing OK, I will keep writing
Thursday Thoughts. They have morphed and changed as I have traveled my loss
journey. That is a good thing. That means I have made progress. I will always
miss my son. There will be days that the grief will hit. I am OK with that. It
is part of life.