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Grief and Disappointment

Peggy Green - Thee Grief Specialist

Written by Peggy Green Thee Grief Specialist

My response surprised me. I normally do not react this way. After much thought, prayer, and meditation, I concluded this was my vulnerability to a difficult situation as a result of my grief.

My expectations were not met much like the loss of life expectations with my son’s death. I expected him to outlive me, get married and have kids. Instead, life was altered when what I led myself to believe what would happen was now torn away, taken out of my hands forever.

I held on tightly to my expectations of this program moving forward and found it very difficult to accept that it won’t. To compare that, it is like not wanting to let go of the life I should have had with my son. I expected certain things to happen, and they will not. Now or As part of my grief journey, I continue to learn to relax and rather than getting caught up in what wasn’t, I am able to see opportunities that lay before me. My understanding of life is becoming clearer, focusing on what I have instead of my lack.

In my suffering and disappointment, both in my grief and my rejection, I found unexpected surprises. The support of others in times of difficulty remains outstanding, I maintain inner strength and an ongoing renewed appreciation of life.

Consider reframing how we think about loss, disappointment, and unmet expectations. King David, in the Bible, points out that pain is inevitable, and suffering is optional. In Psalm 27:13, he shares “I would have fainted, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of
the many”. He speaks of the confidence to have a better day, have hope in self, hope in others and hope for a bright future. Past disappointments help us to
gain effective tools for the future.

I find this prayer true to the core of handling life’s expectations:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, 

courage to change the things I can

and  the wisdom
to know the difference”.

Today is a new day. I was only set back for a while. I can see the relationship of my grief and disappointments. The tools I challenges. I am grateful to be able to do this.