By Peggy Green – Thee Grief Specialist
As of late, I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about death and dying. It is brought on because one of my friends has been diagnosed with cancer. She is doing everything the doctors tell her including changing her treatment plan. Even with the new medications, her numbers are not improving.
As we sat on her living room couch with a blank screen on the TV, we talked about facing her mortality. I so desperately wanted to ask her questions, questions that are very personal with scary answers. I want to know what is she thinking? What is going through her mind? Has she resigned herself to death or living on the promises of great things in heaven? How is her body feeling? These details are important. Has she pictured herself as she takes her last breath? Who will be by her side?
These area the same questions that have been on my mind since my parents died. I never asked them though. I think it would be extremely helpful to know the answers so that when the time comes for me to face my own death, I know what to expect. It will also help when I encounter others facing the end of their life. I can help them prepare for the inevitable moment, the moment their body ceases to exist as they know it.
I believe two things happen at the instant of death. your soul or your spirit, either is granted access to heaven or cursed to the fires of hell. Second your energy changes. Your energy no longer exists in your physical body. Scientifically, death and the ensuing transformation is the disorganization and reorganization of particles from your body.
Think about a rock being tossed into the center of a calm pond. The water ripples outward striking the beach, causing small undetectable shock waves on the shoreline. Meanwhile, the center of the pond is still again. The energy from the ripples continues to move outward, like dominos falling down even though you do not feel it.
Death is like the pond. It is silent, and unmoving. Your loved one’s energy has moved into a different form, the ripples that spread far and wide. Your loved one is still around. They watch you cry, know they are missed and more than you can imagine, want to take away your pain. If only they could, they would.
They are not dead. Their energy did not die. It simply changed. Keep remembering them. Look at their photos. Seek them wherever you go. They may show up as the leaves on the trees, a gentle breeze across your check or drop of rain on your arm. Know they are happy, healthy, and out of pain.
They are not dead. They are simply reorganized.